Obviously the world heard me after the last post.
I got into another accident, hurting both my wrist and hands.
Things have been hard, for me to accept/ This covid thing / this job thing / and this feeling of not able to be self sufficient / not being able to do the things i want.
I have been stressed about.. not being able to move around and do the things i love. there is this thing with time, timing, and time passing by.
Seems like i am forced to observe it.
I’ve never felt more alone. Alone in this journey of pain, of feeling like i am not self sufficient. I remember after the accident happened, I stood up, with bloody hand, walked to the main road and took the cab to the hospital.
No feelings, just on autopilot. But truth is, i knew i had no one to call, that i could depend on. I knew somehow, the person i called, wouldn’t have been there.
And more than ever, i miss someone to count on. And now, more than ever, i realised how much you truly love me, and how much you have really left for me, even after you are gone.
If i could hear you say you love me, one more time. And you to come to me, in my dreams to tell me, it will all go away. The pain really comes from a place of having loved, and been loved deeply.
And i know a thousand times, how proud you would have have been for
I miss you papa, for what it might have been, for what it was. I love you pa.