” How do you do it, Vanessa?
Exactly how can you, actually be so cheerful and optimistic?
Everyday I see you, you’re always so nice, always smiling.
I have never seen you gloomy,angry, frustrated or stressed.
It’s a really good thing you can be so happy at all the time.”
A fraction of a stint conversation in the lift with my superior, Angie.
A fine lady, quiet, calm and focused. We share the focus factor, but definitely not the quiet and calm part.
Briefly before that, I complimented on her hair cut – explaining that it made her look younger. Actually I could see her worries written in her eyes. So I tried to be warm and actually remind her about things other than her worries.
Back to the things she mentioned and questioned.
If it helped, it took me more than 30 seconds to digest what she told me. I remember staring at the lift doors as it closed. Looking for an answer to those ‘hard’ questions she blurred out. Maybe she meant it, maybe she didn’t. But I’m hoping she meant it and it surely did made my day.
After 12 floors up, I answered her, ” I just try hard everyday. ”
Maybe I should win an oscar for this. Funny how this lady thinks I’m happy ALL the time. No one is every happy all the time.
Have you ever been inside my head? It’s a constant debate over good and bad. Right and wrong. Frustration and Satisfaction. Love and hate. Important and urgent. To rebel or to fit it. To be or not to be.
All the worries, I have are kept them safely in my head, and amongst close peers.
All my loneliness, tears, pain and bitterness are kept inside a drawer. I only open it up when I am alone, when I have the time and appropriate energy to deal with those monsters.
All my hopeless days are dealt with running and sleeping.
Not forgetting the… Inner Critic. That Inner Voice Is The Hardest To Tame.
I am just as humane as everybody is.
The vast difference of what you see on the outside versus the inside, is great.
I want to tell you why ” I just try so hard everyday. ”
Because I’m sick of all the negativity around me. All the people who wants me to just be mediocre. All the insensitive and unkind people who makes my day a little more dull. All the tedious but highly unnecessary rules, regulations and procedure. I want it easy, fast, and good. And let me tell you – there’s no better way to do things, see things, understand things with a happy clear mind. And there’s no better way to light up people’s life, day or just a minute with enthusiasm and a pretty smile. And above all.. there’s no better way to live life other than having hope.