You know, when you feel numb. It just blocks all your emotions, all your feelings. Just a numb feeling.
I remember the quietness while I lay beside I dad’s body in the hospital. While my siblings were busy dealing with the paperwork and undertaker. I didn’t want my ‘dad’ to be ‘alone’. I knew that he was afraid to die before time, so I thought that I could be there for him a while after.
No machine beeps. The air was cold, bone piercing cold. But not as cold as my dad’s dead body. He looked surprised. I just cried and cried. It just felt like I died too. And I remember all those times, I slept beside my dad, all the snoring. And now, just silence. Deafening to an extend.
The thing is, pain is pain. Hard is hard. I really love how people compare pain to others, justifying what pain is harder or more crazy. To make themselves feel better or worst..
Pain is pain. Sometimes I can’t breathe pain. Sometimes I need to cry like a baby pain. Other days it’s just like I am dazing kind of pain. Just wishing that it was a dream.
Pain is pain. It is not relative.