While I was driving, speaking, thinking, disgusted with disbelieve.
I was struggling to control my breathing techniques, and had no control how quickly my blood pressure escalated from normal to abnormal.
Like a slow motion picture, I could feel my face boil. And I screamed and yelled.
At a poor soul who needed comfort and love.
I was angry and ugly, filled with blood tainted with stress. My thoughts were cut throat like as if I’m in a war. Fight or flight, there’s no in between for me. I forgot all the grey shades.Every shade of grey that could ever exist. The dull colour that cripples us from living. All the what if-s in life that we ponder. That fear that cripples and paralyses us from making the decisions of our lives.
I forgot how it FEELS to be human.
How did I be come like that. When did it start? How can I be two at the same time.