Enroute to China, there was a technical error with the plane I was flying on.
I didn’t freak out at all, a firm believer of ” If God loves me more, I welcome the love”.
We landed for the plane to be fixed.
Second time out, I texted my brother – gave him access to my life, directed him to do the necessary if I go.
While I was about to land in China, I realised that – I’m ready to die. Don’t think there’s anything to look back to in life, except for having kids, and my family&dog. Nothing in life really mattered as much.
I was actually at peace with the fact that I might be dying. Because I know that I’ll see papa. I can spend time with him, tell him about all the experiences I have had, in a world there’s no pain or heartbreak. But first, just to hear that he loves me still.
I am probably just super fucked up, or just really living life like everyday is my last.
God, if you can touch any part of my heart – teach me to love my life here on earth while i breathe. To take care of mom and family while i can.. So.much.pain.today.