Haven’t been running lately. Running used to give me freedom, now dad has taken all of my mind during running, makes it difficult to concentrate on breathing.
It’s raining here dad, and I’m watching it. It’s been rather gloomy today. I was visualizing how your smile looked like. I squeezed my eyes, dug hard into my memory to replay your voice in my head. How comforting it would have been to hear your voice again. If you heard my sobs, or see me grieve, you would have asked ” what’s wrong ?”
So many things to be greatful for dad. The people I have met, the work I’m doing, for mommy and family. So many good things happening. But I still feel lonely. I still feel like its all short lifted, feel my winnings are aimless – for the sake to keep you out of my mind. And when I actually reach my goal, I realised it was for nothing. For no one.
Aimless efforts.
So much grieve papa. I wished you could be here. Just hear me cry. I miss you.
Love you till the end.