Dear Rachel; I miss you so much.

I hear your cries, through your tears, fears, all your panic attacks, I can imagine the external torture, and the internal torture that you’re experiencing. I’m sorry for this hard phase, you’re such a beautiful person, and i hope that when you look at the mirror, you see what i see.

You’re enough, and good, and independent, and above all you try, maybe too hard sometimes, to the point you forget yourself. You are important too, have some respect for yourself, give yourself some time and space, give yourself some attention, hear yourself breathe more often. Thank yourself for all the hard work thus far. You don’t need to go on your knees for someone to love you darling.

I hope someone –  yourself, or a friend, or a family, a support group, or God, restores you.I hope that life itself restores you, what is stolen and lost, what was robbed from you, both of the physical world, mental world, and also in your heart. And i wished i could put some hope and dreams in a jar for you, to build what was torn down, and what has stripped you naked. But i realized you’re a big girl now, and to grow you need your own space, time and your own way to deal with things. I’m sorry. sometimes i overstep.

I pray that you receive a double portion of everything, more anointing, more love, fresh hope, fresh courage, fresh faith,  sharper eyes to see, clearer ears to hear and listen, sharper mind to discern, and may you always be surrounded by kind people.  Greater things Rachel, greater things for you.

I hope as you embark on a new chapter, i wish nothing but everything to be better than before, super than before, sweeter than before. You deserve nothing but the best.

Love you so much.

Yellow Bird

 

This is my favourite place; when i get breathless, this is my place.

Some days i come to this place, up to 5  times, just to regulate my breath. I would see people jogging, cycling, a granddad with grandchild, chatting away. And lately this yellow man, across the water, quite frequently.

Yesterday, there was two yellow birds, flying toward me. ( I was a little scared, i have been pecked by birds before, like on my head ).  They both landed on different trees. and proceed to chat away with one another.

I was delighted to see the yellow birds.